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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29561937">And Number Six?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oranginaNights/pseuds/oranginaNights'>oranginaNights</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Just matsuhana being stupid, M/M, Post-Canon, both are idiots, mentions of IwaOi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 13:33:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29561937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oranginaNights/pseuds/oranginaNights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsukawa Issei has gone along with Hanamaki Takahiro's crazy ideas for as long as he can remember.</p>
<p>His newest idea involves them sitting in the office of a stressed couple's counselor, pretending to be a toxic couple on the verge of a breakup. Little do they know that acting as if they were about to fall apart, may actually bring them even closer.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And Number Six?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this because I saw a tweet with the idea of going to couple's counselling with a stranger and thought it would be kinda funny if matsuhana did that but as friends just because they're both idiots. </p>
<p>I love the whole "don't know they're in love with each other" trope as well so here we are I guess.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s like you don’t even know me!”</p><p>The therapist sighed as the couple in her small office commenced another screaming match. Well, it would have been a screaming match if either of the two seemed bothered enough to raise their monotonous voices to the same level as the harshness of their threats and accusations. </p><p>“Of course I know you! I love you, Hansumaka!”</p><p>The tall man on her left finally showed a slight reaction to the other man’s words with a subtle raise of his thin eyebrow.</p><p>“Hansumaka?! Did you seriously just mix up my name with whoever you’re cheating on me with again?”</p><p>She readied herself to interrupt the row yet again. This was going to be a long session.</p><p>***</p><p>When Hanamaki had first proposed the idea of going to couple’s counselling as a fake couple, Matsukawa had to admit he had been slightly sceptical.</p><p>It was a week ago when Hanamaki had hopped onto their kitchen counter, at which Matsukawa was eating his late breakfast of left-over takeout from the night before, and announced he had yet another ingenious idea. As Hanamaki had explained his plan to Matsukawa, whilst stealing a cold piece of pizza, he had no idea it would be working as well as it currently was.<br/>
The therapist looked like she was on the verge of her own stress-induced breakdown as Matsukawa declared Hanamaki was wrong about the number of times he had supposedly cheated.</p><p>“Come on Makki you know I hate the number 7; it must have been 8 times. Besides, I wouldn’t have to cheat if you didn’t insist on drinking milk at every meal!”</p><p>Mattsun hid his grin behind his hand at Hanamaki’s wonderful acting as he improvised a response to Matsukawa’s cheating claims. It was impossible not to think about how he actually found Makki’s insistence to drink milk with every meal rather endearing, even when he had tried to switch to almond milk and refused to call it anything but nut juice. It had been especially endearing that time when he had tried to order it at the fancy, Michelin star restaurant they had been dragged to by Oikawa to celebrate his and Iwaizumi’s engagement. Both Oikawa and the waiter had looked as aghast as if Hanamaki had instead told them he was going to motorboat their mothers (a threat Hanamaki had actually used once on a club bouncer who had threatened to kick him and Matsukawa out for trying to hide hot dog sausages in various places) (they were kicked out immediately).</p><p>Matsukawa wondered if there was anything about the other man that he actually disliked.</p><p>***</p><p>After (deliberately) failing the trust exercise the therapist had set them for the fourth time, she had suggested despairingly that they all sat back down and tried a different idea. Hanamaki folded his long legs under him on the mauve armchair in order to sit in the most awkward and off-putting position he could think of. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Matsukawa doing the same on a deflated looking beanbag, Hanamaki couldn’t help but regret not thinking of the even more ridiculous position that Mattsun had somehow managed. He was even more envious of how he somehow managed to make the position look both hilariously distracting and graceful with his lean body. </p><p>The therapist’s newest idea for them was to try naming 3 things that they found annoying, and 6 things that they liked about the other. Hanamaki almost scoffed at how easy the task sounded but then found himself struggling to narrow down the list of things he liked about Matsukawa to just 6. He was surprised at just how extensive his mental list of “Things About Mattsukawa Issei I Find Pretty Cool” was, but he supposed that must be normal for two people who had been spent almost every moment together since elementary school. His pondering was interrupted by the therapist nodding at him to share his list of 3 annoying things first.</p><p>It was rather easy for Makki to think of three ridiculous lies about Matsukawa, he simply had to slightly change stories of things they had actually done together.</p><p>“Firstly, he still thinks it’s funny to make ‘yo mama’ jokes.” The lighter haired man divulged to the concerned looking woman. The truth was that they often had competitions to see who can say the most ‘yo mama’ jokes to Iwaizumi before he snaps and threatens to break their noses. (Makki held the record with 12 jokes).</p><p>“Number 2, he once used all our printer ink to print 50 pictures of furry porn and then insisted I go out and buy more ink for him, even though I had a broken leg.” Once again, they had actually done that together, Hanamaki had the idea to use all of Oikawa’s ink in his precious high-tech printer, and Matsukawa had suggested they hid 50 pictures of furry porn around Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s apartment. (It had taken the pair a month to find all of the lewd pictures in their bedroom alone). The broken leg had also been due to one of their joint ideas, they had bet on who could jump the highest on a trampoline they had found. Hanamaki had lost.</p><p>“And C, he thinks liking milk is a viable reason to cheat.” </p><p>Hanamaki thought he saw the will to live physically leave the therapist when Matsukawa replied to his list by claiming he was close to tears in the most bored voice possible. She seemed to physically brace herself on her desk before prompting Matsukawa to share his three grievances.</p><p>“Point 1, he doesn’t think liking milk is a viable reason to cheat.” The pair shared a sidelong glance to convey their satisfaction with their improvised story thus far.</p><p>“Number B, once he stabbed me in the eye with a toothbrush for refusing to use any adjective other than swag for a whole day.” That was actually a true story, but Mattsun supposed he had deserved it after he described Makki getting fired (for the second time in the same month) as “not too swag bro”.</p><p>“Third of all, he never tells me my ass is fat.” That one was a complete and utter lie, Hanamaki told Matsukawa his ass was fat every morning instead of a normal greeting. It was a ritual that had started a couple of years into living together after one particularly late night out, during which Mattsun had declared that not enough people appreciate “how lucky they are to be in the presence of someone blessed with such a voluptuous rear.” </p><p>The therapist placed her pen back down onto her blank notebook in front of her, seemingly admitting defeat, and turned to face Makki again. </p><p>“So, could you now share six things about Matsukawa that you do like, Hanamaki.”</p><p>This was a far easier task for Hanamaki, he didn’t even need to make anything up. </p><p>“One, he’s the best partner for karaoke duets. Two, he’s stupidly good at balloon animals for no reason.” </p><p>These were both random facts about Matsukawa that Makki couldn’t help but admire. He often brought up Mattsun’s odd talents when they met new people, partly in an attempt to embarrass the other man, but also because he wanted to show off his best friend for reasons he could not quite figure out. </p><p>“Three, he let me choose his tattoo two years ago, and four, he somehow manages to still look sort of cool with ‘Takahiro was here’ in a heart on his left ass cheek.”</p><p>Hanamaki always felt a slight jolt when he glimpsed the tattoo, he had always attributed it to the stark reminder of how hilarious he was, but now he was starting to wonder if it was for other reasons entirely.</p><p>“Five, he’s cut my hair for 5 years now and not fucked it up even once. And when he cuts it, he always gives me a heavenly shoulder massage afterwards.”</p><p>This tradition had started during their last year of high school when, whilst spending the third night in a row at Matsukawa’s house, Hanamaki had complained about how his hair had got in the way when he was practicing receives at after school practice. Mattsun had trimmed his hair with safety scissors in the moonlit bathroom at 1am and something within Makki had seemed to click into place. He hadn’t thought about what that thing may have been until this moment, listing six things he liked about his best friend to a stressed couples counsellor whilst they pretended to be a couple with surprising ease. </p><p>“And six,” Hanamaki turned to face the other man as he said his final point. “You’ve always agreed to my stupid ideas, Issei.” </p><p>He hoped he would agree to the newest stupid idea that he realised he had been thinking of for a while now, maybe since that cool summer night when his best friend had thread his long fingers through Hanamaki’s hair and threatened to cut him a mohawk with the pink scissors he had stolen from school.</p><p>***</p><p>Matsukawa realised he may need to step up his list of six after Hanamaki’s deliverance of his final point. The use of his given name, while fairly common between the pair, struck a chord so deep within him that he had to tear his eyes away from Makki’s warm gaze to start speaking.</p><p>“One, he helped me pay for the ball pool I bought last month. Two, he let me stick and poke a ‘swag 4ever’ tattoo on his right ass cheek.”</p><p>That incident had occurred at his 21st birthday party when Hanamaki had drunkenly said they should get matching tattoos, having forgotten that he had already chosen a tattoo for Mattsun prior in the year. Matsukawa could still remember how proudly Makki had shown everyone his bare ass, claiming “Issei’s the best tattoo artist there is” to Iwaizumi about twenty times over the course of the night. </p><p>“Three, he always buys me my favourite takeout when I’m sick. Four, he still remembers the dance routine we made up to piss everyone off that one volleyball practice.”</p><p>Mattsun was always surprised at just how much of their lives were intertwined and just how much of it all that Hanamaki seemed to always remember. Hanamaki had always been stubborn and that had extended to their friendship, he refused to forget anything about Matsukawa or anything that they had done together. He could hardly recall what it had been like before he had met Hanamaki over 10 years ago, but he knew he never wanted to experience that feeling again.</p><p>“Five, he always laughs at my dumb jokes.”</p><p>That was one of the main reasons that Matsukawa made jokes so often, so he could see his best friend’s whole face light up. It was also one of the reasons that Matsukawa always went along with Hanamaki’s various ideas and schemes. He knew that no matter what, he would always go out of his way to make Makki happy. A sudden realisation struck Matsukawa Issei in the drearily decorated, small couples counselling office that he was paying a stupid amount of money to sit in. He turned to face his longest friend and was met with his favourite wide smile. </p><p>“And number six?” The therapist prompted after they had stared at each other for over a minute.</p><p>“Holy fucking shit Hiro, we’re totally in love with each other!”</p><p>Both men broke into giggling fits at the ridiculousness of the situation. The last few years of suggestive comments from their friends finally seemed to make sense as their little world seemed to spin with newfound energy.</p><p>“I think this may have been my best idea yet,” Hanamaki claimed as he gestured at the room and the (still very confused) therapist. “You’ll never outdo me on this one Issei!”</p><p>Matsukawa jumped up from his bean bag and started towards Makki, “Oh yeah? I think I have quite a good idea of how to beat you.”</p><p>As their lips met, Matsukawa remembered the first time he had called out “I’m home” when he returned to their small apartment and Hanamaki had yelled some stupid insult that he couldn’t quite remember and there was the smell of burning from the kitchen and he was so exhausted he felt he might collapse right there in the hallway but he knew in that moment that it was true; he was home. </p><p>They broke away, still slightly breathless and giggly, and turned to face the therapist.</p><p>“Thanks for all your help! You’re a fabulous couple’s counsellor.” Hanamaki said to her with a wink as they both stood and walked out of the office, hand in hand.</p><p>***</p><p> *Awesome Foursome Group Chat*</p><p>Matsukawa: yo Oikawa any tips on sucking dick?? Asking for a friend ;)</p><p>Oikawa: omg are you saying what I think ur saying?!???!!</p><p>Oikawa: Iwa-chan are you seeing this?!?!?!</p><p>Iwaizumi: ah shit I thought they’d be too stupid to figure it out on their own</p><p>Hanamaki: well we did go to a couple’s counsellor…</p><p>Oikawa: what??? when??? why??</p><p>Oikawa: also you owe me 20,000 yen Iwa-chan :)</p><p>Matsukawa: so do you have any tips or what??</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't really like the ending still but oh well.</p>
<p>Thanks for reading :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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